A close friend sent me a link to the song “He Giveth More Grace.” I’m not sure if it’s my age or my situation in life (or if I’m tired of songs that don’t really touch the soul), but I feel drawn back to some of the old melodies and I’m paying closer attention to the lyrics. There’s a line in this beautiful old hymn that says, “When we reach the end of our hoarded resources, our Father’s full giving is only begun.”
The phrase “hoarded resources” pinged in my mind. The last five years have caused me to draw strength and encouragement from spiritual truths that are embedded in my memories, but at times I don’t feel I have enough resources to keep me going. It’s at these moments that the Holy Spirit comes to tend to my deepest needs, and I’m strengthened and encouraged. Many times I have to run into the shelter of His holy presence and receive the assurance that His grace is sufficient.
Last night a good friend invited me to come over for dinner with her and her husband. We had tried four times to get together and I didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to spend time with her, although it wasn’t the best time for me to leave Pops. He wanted me by his side and although I’d sat and held his hand for three hours, it wasn’t enough. I left in spite of my reluctance and, sure enough, he became distressed in my absence. One of our sons and his family came to have dinner with him while I was gone, but that wasn’t what he wanted.
It’s at times such as these that being his source of love, comfort, and purpose weighs heavily on me. I struggle with being glad he loves me so much and feeling solely responsible for his being reason to live. All I can do is ask the Father to pour out His grace both on me as well as on my sweet man, calm his spirit, and bring peace—to both of us.